Post Summer Malaise

Hello readers! Apologies for the distinct lack of bloggery by myself over the past 6 weeks. A new job, coupled with some swift, short holiday action has precluded putting virtual pen to paper.

Where to begin? First letter of the Alfa-bet.. The 156 2.4JTD is no longer of this parish. I grew tired of it’s incessant groaning and creaking (and lacked the time to adequately resolve it!). A sneaky pothole on the A1 produced a bizzare occasional boost leak, and signaled the end of the relationship.
A friend decided that it was high time for some Italian flair in his life, and took it on as a load lugger. The lesson learned for me is this – “Buy an Alfa that some other bugger has spent out on to repair”. You’d do well to remember these words of wisdom!

The letter B brought a couple of surprises to the fleet this month – firstly, a new-fangled* e36 coupe in 320i Auto flavour brought much needed modernity and a pleasant lack of squeak.

Oh, Hello! e36 joins the fleet

This is A NICE THING. Tremendous speccing by the first owner sees the pilot provided with:

An analogue clock

An armrest

A switchable autobox coupled to a silky smooth 150bhp 2.0 6cyl

Cruise control and a sunroof.

No air con, no trip computer, and certainly no performance.

This makes it pretty damn good at doing the job of two cars- comfortable and lazy to drive on the long commute, yet frugal(ish) and fun when needed on back roads.

As such, another fleet member was redundant, but more on that later.

The second B of the summer was provided by another 320i – my trusty e30 has been awoken from its slumber!

#Undertreefind

It has sat for the best part of a year, with dogy fuel pump wiring sealing its fate as a car park ornament until such times as I could remain calm for long enough to try and sort it.

A jiggle of wires, and a sip of electrikery from its younger brother saw it burst into life in it’s usual throaty manner

Its actually fairly mechanically sound, and the sorting will likely revolve around cleaning with some fuel pump wiring repair thrown in. I’m pleased it lives!

The letter C is for Corsa – that which was inflicted on me when I travelled to Jersey. The pic below should sum up the situation:

Enough said, I think

That moves us on to the letter L. One car but two meanings:

Firstly, L stands for Luxury – the art of convivial conveyance to Aberdeen for some business meetings was easily undertaken by the Lexus. A 4Litre v8, automatic gearbox with cruise control and a an arm rest is the perfect long distance cruiser.

It also made short work of showing a mate’s triumph Toledo how to have street presence..

L also stands for leaving, as the big LS400 is the other casualty of the e36 arrival. Its a beautiful big barge, but it is just too large, cumbersome and thirsty for the role of daily commuter to the new job. Despite being cheaper than the train for the 450 mile weekly work run, it struggles to cope with the rough and tumble in the city centre, or the laughably small parking bay (yes, singular) at work.

I’ve had tremendous fun with it, and would like to have another some day when money, time, space and requirements all align.

Get one whilst you can!

Lastly, this blog is brought to you by the letter W for Waverley.  

I got the opportunity to ride on this Splendiferous paddle steamer with its triple expansion engine, and a free bar.

I really recommend the experience, but am unable to guarantee the free bar!

Here’s hoping I can get another blog done shortly! Thanks for reading.

Flying Fleet Update

Where to start?

320i touring

Said steed continues to turn in sterling service as the daily driver of choice. 1400 miles since the 29th of June, at an average of 33.4mpg. It sounds brilliant, goes reasonably well and looks as cool as F&^k.

Things sorted since last update:

 

A new coolant level sensor.

 

Things to sort:

Front Clunk

Oil Service

Front passenger seatbelt buckle

Leak in the boot

Lack of central locking

New front tyres.

I love this car, the sound it makes and the youthful idiocy it stands for. Part of me wants to make it better, part of me loves its wonky nature.. we’ll see how things develop!

Earning its keep as a load lugger

Always great fun moving Veg oil,,

 

Vectra B SRi 2.2 150

The Bland Barge has passed into the hands of the Burd, and sees a 36 mile commute most days at the moment. She’s not light with the ole throttle, but it seems to manage a respectable 36mpg in rush hour traffic. It has wormed its way into her affections by being unerringly reliable, and suitably punchy for dealing with backroad dawdlers. We’re just about 5000 miles into ownership, having collected her at the end of April.

Despite not being a patch on the Clio 172 in either go or handling stakes, it is proving itself most adequate at fulfilling whatever is asked of it. Such loyalty and good service should not go unrewarded, so she’s had an oil and filter change, plus the glory of 2 part worn tyres on the front. The old ones were worn to the 1.6mm markers.

New Boots time!

Remarkably even wear on the front tyres that came off

Shifting from Autogrips to part worn Continentals has really improved the front end grip and feel – turn in is much more positive.

As a reward, she’s currently on a blast to Nottingham with us – taking me to one of my favourite haunts, and a favourite tipple, all at 41mpg!

A similarly painted friend came to visit one evening

Omnom nom

The CX

She still leaks LHM from the front left brake.

CX Colostomy

Not entirely successful..

I have the number of a spares chap, I just need to get a list of all the stuff required. I think it’ll be a long list.

Since our last update, she’s been relocated – all the way over to our other unit. the disadvantage of this is she is a 160 mile round trip from home. the advantage though is the ability to work on her after work and until late PM at weekends. this is A GOOD THING. I even have victims lined up to assist.

Loaded with stuff

Adoorable

Lined up properly on the trailer this time..

Ready for refurbishment

Until the next update, tata!

Not as lazy as I seem Pt1

Apologies for the complete lack of posts recently – a combination of work, life and a smidgen of “meh” have resulted is a complete lack of blog based output from myself.

Rest assured, despite a lack of updates, progress has been achieved in a variety of motoring areas.

First up, it was time to get the 335i back on the road. We’d spent some time earlier getting it to bleeding well RUN! Such an achievement meant that it was time to head to the MOT station and see what other things we’d missed.

Prepared for judgement day

Reassuringly, it failed on nothing too complex –

An inoperative handbrake on N/S rear

An extensively worn set of pads, coupled to an ineffectual caliper on N/S rear

oh, and a distinct lack of metal in a sill or two..

crunchy 😦

crunchy plus fuel tank vent:(

As is always the way, it didn’t get any better when we pulled the side skirts off – the grot on the driver’s front had reached the outer, so plenty remedial work was required.

None too clever

We had some fun trying to get it welded (a lack of welder precluded us from carrying out the job in house). This was partly due to a lack of belief that you can weld a car with LPG fitted.

 

In the end, a local garage did the work once the LPG had been isolated at the tank, and the lines purged by running the car until it died.

Easy enough to turn off the LPG supply – 16mm brass valve at bottom of the picture

 

that done, it was duly patched up and provided back to us:

Outer sill

Driver’s inner sill

near side rear

As you can see the welds could do with chasing back, and likely some more protection. But as it was inclement, and they’d be hidden by the skirts, we boshed the covers back on and moved onto the brakes.

First up was the non-functioning rear caliper:

a swift glance confirmed the suspicion that the piston had jammed out. This means 2 things. Firstly, both pads are pressed against the disc continuously, meaning they wear down to very little. Secondly, the caliper exerts no real force when the pedal is depressed – effectively meaning that the wheel is not braked.

Fully extended and F all pads left

Penetrating fluid and some time was the solution for the piston – It pushed back in easily with a clamp.

Wound all the way in

We saw fit to clean and grease the sliders, before fitting new pads and testing the caliper applied and released force correctly. happily this was the case.

That just left the handbrake – one of the worst jobs on an E30 with rear discs. much fun was had adjusting it so the shoes caught properly, and provided sufficient force to pass an MOT. In all likelihood, an overhaul will likely be required.

It went back in for a retest and passed – handily, this happened before it was required to take me to the airport at 5.45am on a Sunday. More of that story to come later!

A Fair Bit of Fleet Faffery

The last couple of days have seen a fair bit of work and shenanigry on a variety of fleet members.

First up for the old guard, the e30 of my brother. Originally a 316i auto, it now sports a slightly more sporty 2.8 6cylinder engine. As I had a few days off, I volunteered to take it for an MOT.

The car has many, many up-rated and new parts, so the MOT was almost a foregone conclusion. The real potential concern lay in getting the bleeding thing to and from the garage in one piece.

It started well with me getting her emptied out and dusted down before setting off.

Pre MOT clearoot

The first few miles were very gingerly undertaken as I tried to adapt to the hair trigger throttle (courtesy of a lightened flywheel) and exceptionally sharp 4pot front brakes. The 6 paddle clutch also made for an interesting drive in the rain- getting it to deliver the drive without significant wheelspin or risk of stalling took a bit of time to master.

As expected, she passed the MOT with flying colours, and as a bonus the weather dried up and I could let her hair down a touch more. More miles under my belt meant I could benefit from the exceptional set-up my brother has created – great grip, superb stopping, hooligan handling and awesome acceleration mean that is an alarmingly competent package!

Doom Blue is the colour of champions!

As I was preparing the 328i for MOT, I’d received a rather garbled message from my dad regarding the 316 – it appeared to have failed to proceed at the bottom of their road, and had been abandoned and the e60 520i pressed into service.

Like any dutiful son with a spare day and a boot-full of tools, I steered the mighty 306 towards the last known whereabouts of the carb fed 316.

It appeared to crank OK but didn’t want to catch – so it was time to take a look at the usual suspects.

I could smell fuel – likely too much in all honesty, which suggested that the little m10 was at least partially suffering from flooding. Furthermore, the attempts to ignite the fuel sounded a bit too weak for my liking.

I turned my attention to the distributor:

Not quite as high tech as the 328i

Mildly suspicious of this dizzy..

I took the cap off and had a look at the connectors inside – neither the cap or the rotor arm looked great, being fairly heavily covered in dust. A short session with emery paper restored a shine

Load of crap in the cap

Rough looking Rotor-arm

I put it back together and turned the key – only for the battery to suggest that it was a touch unhappy with the level of exertion requested. Step forward the 306 and its big derv battery and alternator. Once the leads were applied, the 316 fired straight up.

French kissed back to life

A short drive proved everything was OK, and I managed to scam a well earned cup of coffee off my mum.

Day 1 was done, so a small amount of rest for the 306 was due.

 

Day 2 dawned fairly bright and dry – Ideal car sorting weather. I was up at a reasonable hour, the 306 packed with tools and hooned to the Unit. Once there, the task of fettling old BMWs could commence.

First up was the 316 – the dry weather had prompted my Dad to set about sorting the water leak into the boot.

On e30s, the most common points of water ingress at the rear of the car are the light seals and the boot seal. Happily these seals can be procured from the local dealer for a reasonable sum of money and short period of waiting as they wing their way from Germany.

Mid rear resealing

Source of the ingress

New boot seal on and sorted

The boot seal peels off from the middle of the boot lip, above the lock button. The new one simply slots back on the lip, and is pressed home until located.

The light seals are slightly more complex as they require removal of the lens units:

Unscrew the bulb holder lock in the centre and place to one side

Unclip the wiring loom from the lens

Remove the 6x 8mm nuts and metal corner clamp

Push the lens out from inside the boot.

 

This done, you can easily unpeel the old seal, and replace with the new. Refitting is simple, and the light cluster should line up easily.

With the seals fitted, we pulled the battery and gave it a top up charge. It is now happy to start first time, and seems to be performing well. Lets hope that continues

 

I snuck a quick swatch under the 306, and was delighted to find a nearly new exhaust in excellent condition. Its still due an actual wheels off, full appraisal re suspension and brakes, and i hope to do that soon.

 

Last up was my brother’s 730i e38. It joined the fleet only 6 days ago, but has been a firm favourite with everyone who has encountered it. That is no real surprise as you sit in the blue leather heated seats, and adjust them electrically until they are just so. Then you plant the loud pedal into the deep carpet, and the v8 thunders you forward in some fashion.

Unlike an e30, the big 7 has the ability to advise of concerns – in this instance, a blown reversing bulb which was easily remedied.

However, it doesn’t flash up on the dash to draw your attention to the non closing bonnet, or the frankly hoachin interior, and they were the main focus of our efforts.

The bonnet catch was temporarily repaired by un-siezing the locking mechanism with lubricant , and now functions correctly, although a new mechanism will require to be sourced.

The interior was attacked with gusto G101 cleaning solution being deployed liberally, and managing to lift an enormous amount of grime from the dark blue leather of the seats and doorcards.

A fair amount of car to clean.

Ideal for bleeding all over your leather

Manky boot action

Much better!

Overinflations

 

My dad spent some time cleaning the wheels and door shuts, so the whole car now feels much more pleasant and clean. A couple of additional issues were noted as we looked it over – one front lower arm could do with a new bush, and the spare tyre is pretty much scrap.
All in all, not much to be concerned about – I’ll try to get my Brother to do a write up and get some good quality pictures up of the e38 in the near future!

 

Sorta Successful Sunday…

Sunday, the day of rest. The last slivers of the weekend while away in a gravy soaked roast dinner kind of a day. Or at least they do for most folks – however us at Fu’Gutty Towers work hard 7 days a week to bring you some words relating to a selection of auld scrap.

This day was to be no exception. After an unsuccessful attempt to get the CX running last weekend (Despite best efforts) it was time to roll out the bug guns. Step forward the Emperor of the Electron – my mate Paul.

Citroen CX

Paul is a spark to trade, and the kind of top chap who will drive 100 miles round trip in snow to have a gander at a shonky old car that someone who should really know better has bought.

I primed him with Cooncil tea and chocolate biscuits before introducing him to the CX in all its snow covered glory.

We set about ruling out certain components – spark at the plugs showed that the coil, dizzy, rotor arm, cap and leads were good. The cold start injector was howlin a power of fuel into the inlet, but nothing was happening with the injectors – so it was time to trace that out.

Somewhere in here is elecamatricity – we just need to channel it!

Initial passes with the meter suggested that the wiring loom had no obvious shorts, and that the relays were all functioning normally. The fusebox was located in a less than accessible place, but we managed to check it out ok.

Come out, come out wherever you are!

Not exactly up to E30 specs..

All fuses were present and correct – good news!

We turned our attention to the wires near the battery again. One connector had caught the eye of us last weekend, and did so again. One end had 2 wires, and 2 connectors, but what looked like the other part only had one pin.

We decided to go for broke and clip them together – It only bleeding worked! Disconnecting it caused it to die, confirming that it fed the injectors.

Almost as if these two should be connected..

Woop and indeed YAY!

We took it out for a wee spin and all was well -despite Paul looking a touch confused after driving it.

BMW e38 730i

After the CX was fixed, its was time to assist my Brother with aquisitioning his new conveyance. We’ve spent a few weeks looking for diesel cars for him, but never really saw anything that was tickling his fancy. On one of my daily sweeps for cheap tat on a variety of auction sites, a 1994 e38 730i was found.

The advert was duly sent. I thought no more of it, but evidently my Brother did. A few days passed, then he decided to go and see it. As is mostly the case, he came away clutching the new keeper’s supplement, with a deposit paid and the car ready for collection.

The Pug was fired up, and I set off to the gaff of the Brother to commence collectioneering.

Puglet prepared to participate in purchase procurement perambulations

The car was only ins sunny Barrhead – so barely 20 mins passed before we arrived and the deal was done. I got my first glimpse of it, and it looked superb!

Looks ok from far away!

With Foresight (and a check of the OBC) my brother had brought a can of unleaded to fuel it up, this was promptly done along with a check over for operating lights/wipers etc.

He’ll get used to this view..

It even looks good up close

He slipped into the blue leather and we set off for home. 20 mins later we arrived with no concerns, and it was parked up for the evening. I’ll pester him for a full report at some point.

Suitably executive

Adding value to local property prices

We then had a swift shuftery to the Parents gaff with their Seat Toledo – no fuss or trouble with something that new!

A sensible daily driver, and my 306

Back to its chilly home

Lada Niva Hussar

Not to be outdone, I’d also arranged to collect another car – Time to cross both Lada and 4×4 ownership off my list!

A friend was selling one at a most agreeable price, so I decided to bite the bullet and go for it – they are well known for being extremely capable off-road, so I could see it being a fun thing to own and use on “pay n play” days at local off-road courses. There was just the small matter of getting it home from the other side of the country..

We met up at a park and ride, and followed the owner to their unit.

This is not TATA, this is hello

A short hop along the road brought this into view:

It looks a Loadbeta (do you see what I did there?) than I expected..

We got it up and running, and I took it for a spin.

The lights were non existent, and it was stuttery in extremis. We traced the issue back to a lack of charging, meaning that the battery was draining rapidly.

With a journey of 60 miles ahead of us in the dark and snow, we decided discretion was the better part of valour, so sadly set off home without it. Although all being well, I’ll be back for it soon!

Rarely mistaken for the Blackpool Illuminations!

Til the next time!

What A Difference A Week Makes..

168 little hours or something. So goes a song (or at least the EP version..)

 

Anyways, Where were we? Ah yes, The CX was gushing coolant, the 320i had no battery, the Skoda was deed and the Clio 172 was the sole remaining fully functioning car.

At times like this, I get wary. Being reliant on one old car is not the smartest plan. Action needed to be taken. Digits were removed from orifices and Things ™ were made to happen.

First up, a new de-aeration chamber has been ordered for the CX, and fresh coolant concentrate has been procured. As soon as the part arrives, I’ll get it on and see if I can manage a journey without steam.

I decided to be brave and put the 320i in for an MOT. A cursory glance over revealed nothing of any great import requiring attention, bar the usual e30 blocked washer jet issue.

I got up early this morning, and collected the battery I’d charged overnight. Carted it outside and fitted it. Key on:

No dash lights

Bugger.

Without a battery none of my other MOT related checks could really happen.

 

My eyes settled on the Clio. 2 mins later it had been robbed of its battery to provide some much needed power to the m20b20 in the e30.

All systems checked, I papped some fuel in, and set off for the MOT station. I gave it a good shoeing on the way – partly because it sounds great, and partly to make sure it’d have no emission or brake issues. Some left foot braking cleaned the discs up no bother.

I arrived without incident, and left the moss and leaf covered shed in the parking bay. The chap who went out to it looked slightly perturbed. Whilst the MOT was in progress, I went in vain search of a snack bar – finding it preferable to doing the “expectant dad shuffle” in the waiting room.

The result?

SUCCESS!

A PASS!

The tester said ” It looks rough as fuck up top mate, but you’ve done a fair bit underneath  – all looks good” and “that engine is lovely”.

YAAAAAAAS! So now I can tinker and get it a bit better. I’ve found a battery for it too, so the 172 is back together.

 

Which is handy, as it decided to generate a massive exhaust blow mid week.

The pops bangs and gurgles were a hoot, the drone at 3000rpm in 5th less so. It was also anti-socially loud, especially as the sound goaded you to go Fu’Gutty at every opportunity.

I didn’t have high hopes re finding and fitting a new exhaust prior to the festive season, so opted to attempt a temporary fix.

Ahh, that explains the blow then. back box no longer attached to mid section.

The middle rubber mount had snapped, and the exhaust was held only by the manifold. The back box similarly was only held by the 2 mounts almost at the rear bumper.

Next up, the back box was pulled off, and the rear mounts inspected.

Looks Good -Rubber intact.

Looks a bit rough and could be a pain to replace. Still functioning OK just now.

With the back box off, it was plain to see that the joint had failed where the back box was welded onto the mid pipe.

The axle end of this was treated to a grinder session in prep for repairs.

Time to McGyver as solution using only what I had available.

Take

1x Silencer repair kit

1x tube fire gum

2x large jubilee clips

Tin snips

Screwdriver and a hammer.

Make like the A -Team and bodge like crazy.

Silencer repair section cut to size and fitted to Back Box. Fire gum applied.

Detail pic (because I can!)

The other jubilee clip was put on the mid pipe, and the back box was re fitted. With a bit of jiggery pokery and a modicum of percussive adjustment, it all lined up and was clamped together. With a new mid rubber mount fitted, the exhaust is now fully supported and pretty much gas tight.

I’m calling it a success!

 

Speaking of successes, the third one came today from my Brother’s stable. His 328i e30 has been in the air for months waiting for the completion of the diff installation.

Earlier in the day he’d headed down to the unit to drop off the recalcitrant 335i (the least said the better) and decided to start finishing off the diff refit. His good lady was dispatched the below photo when she enquired as to his whereabouts:

ARRRRGH!

Despite having time for selfies, the steady work continued and eventually paid off:

The half shafts were re-installed, and the prop bolts tightened. The car was jacked up to allow the ramps to be pulled from the rear wheels. It was going to drive.

Prepare for landing!

We got it down and off the jack, ready for a wee trip round the unit.

It started OK, and settled down to a nice even idle as it backed out. My brother took it for “a wee run” which seemed to mainly consist of either gentle 6pot burbling, or sideways rev limit action.

 

Great to see it back in action, and I hope it’ll be on the road soon!

 

Arise, Awake. The King in Doom Blue Comes!

Hopefully the next blog will have some good news on the CX front too – then we’ll really be motoring!

 

The 316 gets Fettled

The poor e30 316 has sat at the unit for far too long, but yesterday finally yielded a chance to get some work done on her. This was partly in preparation for her going into daily service, and partly out of sympathy!

Many shiny new parts were purchased- with the aim to improve 3 specific areas:

1. Braking performance
2. Engine performance and cooling
3. Handling

First up was a case of jump starting the car –  we connected the Octavia and were rewarded with a swift fire up- settling down to a decent idle once off choke. We let her run and moved her around a bit to get some temperature into the oil prior to draining.

Next up was a pleasurable experience of jacking a stock height E30 into the air! Every other one we own is too low for a trolley jack and much faffing is required, but the bold 316 could simply be rolled under and jacked – an easy 5 mins saved.

Just as well those 5 mins were saved, as they were needed to sort out the brakes.

On the E30, there is a small hex screw that holds the discs to the bearing- allowing the disc to be held in place before the caliper and wheel are fitted.

They are only little things, but most have seen considerable abuse and have been ramped up far too tight.

I LOVE brake disc retaining screws!

When that happens, it is inevitable that the next person to try and remove the screw will experience the joy and rapture as laid out below:

1. Find right hex piece for screw
2. Ensure it is properly located
3. Get assistant to press the pedal
4. Turn the ratchet anti- clockwise
5. Strip the head of the screw (bonus points for snapping the bit off in it too)
6. Look out the drill
7. Select sharpest bit and set too
8. Add in some swears
9. More drilling
10. Swears
11. Hammer
12. Success!

Mid way through the drilling episode..

Once off, it was obvious that the disc was below its minimum thickness, and that the choice to swap discs and pads was a smart one. We got the caliper bracket and caliper cleaned up, pushed the piston back in and fitted the new disc and pads.

Much more like it!

The other side was much less annoying, and was done in Jig time. It was then time for a test drive, and a bit of bedding in. I’m pleased to report that she now pulls up straight and strong, with a much improved pedal feel. Both discs are nice and shiny, with the pads clearing all the surface.

Whilst we’d been up in the air for the brakes, the 17mm sump bolt had been undone and the old oil drained. The Oil filter is handily located on the side of the block beneath the alternator – in full view, easy to access and lacking any stupid 36mm cover etc. Good, simple and easy to maintain is a signature of the old M10 engine and I heartily commend them to you! Lubrication was provided by 4.5L of 10W40 semi synth.

The Oil filter came off by hand and was easily swapped out. Much better than a modern BMW!

That done, we moved on to the air filter. The M10 in this 316 is a carb fed 1.8, and getting an air filter for it proved entertaining. As this car is on a 1987 E reg it is right on the crossover point between the pre and post-facelift models. This particular one has a facelift shell/bumpers and interior but retains the pre-facelift engine.

As such, it has a large circular air filter atop the carb rather than a rectangular one mounted on the inner wing. All the online parts stores were indicating the rectangular one, so I had to be a touch creative and order one for a carb fed E28 518 5series. Luckily this worked out, and breathing was much improved!

Carburation FTW (old filter pictured!)

Spark plugs were next- and here we ran into another issue. The replacement plugs had a non removable top on them, whereas the fitted ones were fitted with the screwed tops removed. New ones will need to be ordered.

Just about to discover the spark plug issue. (note the missing pipe from the top of the exhaust manifold to the air intake)

They don’t actually look that bad!

Undeterred, we tackled one of the great tribulations of E30 ownership – replacing the viscous fan clutch!

The M10 engine is a nice, short 4 cylinder, so we thankfully had some room to work. The fan coupling is held onto the water-pump by means of a left handed thread, and the pulley for driving the water-pump is held on by 4x 10mm bolts.

If you try to turn the fan coupling, then the water-pump and belts will turn. put a spanner on the 10mm bolts and they start to loosen.

We used the tried and tested method of removing 1x 10mm bolt and mounting something to lock the pulley. In this instance it was a C spanner for coil-over adjusting that we used (due to its handily drilled hole). You can make your own tool from a small piece of flat bar with a small hole drilled in it.

Remove the 10mm bolt

put bolt through hole in bar

Replace bolt into pulley and tighten

This should then allow you to hold the pully steady whilst loosening the left handed thread.

Tool mounted and Fan removed

Once it is off, undo the 4 hex bolts that hold the fan to the clutch and swap over. Installation is the reverse of removal.

You can see the 4x Hex bolts here, and the state of the original fan clutch

Shiny, new and oh so cooling!

With it all back together and the coolant checked we ran her up to temp, and put some load on. Rock solid just under 1/2 on the gauge –  a right result!

 

With that success we packed up tools and went home. next time will likely see the handling issue sorted.

A closer look at the 316

Finally, Fu’Gutty cars managed to stop traipsing about this fair land for long enough to have a swatch at the latest acquisition.

I ragged it down to the unit, revelling in the unhurried progress that was hard won, and rarely relinquished. A totally stock e30 316 is imbued with a heady combination of 45mm front struts and a lack of rear ARB.

In the dry this makes for handling that is as predictable as it is wallowy- conveyance is comfortable yet controlled enough to be nippy when needed. In the wet, the soft setup offers a good amount of grip, and a very informative drive. Even though the steering is over-assisted (overly light due to a 4 odd turns lock to lock rack) you can feel the road well, and drive on just the right side of the “Hooligan” line.

Upon arrival it was time to put it in the air and get a look at the 4 corners.

First up, the Fronts:

OH the shineh shineh!

That Piston is a fair bit oot..

 

As expected, the longish brake pedal was down to low pads- I’ll get some ordered up, but in the meantime I went to a backup plan- the Yellow Stuff pads we’d taken off the 335i.

 

If ever there was a car that was slower than its brake pads, it was this 316!

Disc is not in the best of nick either

The Pad on the left is what came off, the one on the right is what was swapped on

Yup, that’s on the wear sensor

BUMPSTOPS!

So based on that, we’re looking at

1x front Flexi

2x Discs

1x TCA Bush (I bought two when ordering the one that needed fitted for the MOT)

1x set Brake Pads

If I’m feeling really flush I may go for a set of 45mm front dampers, topmounts and bottom arms too.

 

Onto the rear:

As is usual with the e30, I approached the rear arches with trepidation- all too often this is where the dreams end, and the nightmare begins- A hand can be quickly filled by rust.

 

Being a “South of England” car, the wee 316 passed the crunch test with flying colours- so much metal!

 

Nice to see just dust out the rear arches!

I gave the rear drums a wire brush and rust treatment before temporarily applying primer.

Rusty Drum ( The lesser talented sibling of Rusty Bin)

OMG MAKEOVER!

 

Looking round the rear end, again some damper and topmount replacement could be worthwhile, so I shall price up the bits.

All in all, it seems a solid old thing, and the application of some new parts, a few drops of paint and a good clean should see it right for years to come!

I’m a happy boy!

Shitefest Pt1

6.30am is a helluva time to leave the house of a morn, especially when you are supposed to be on holiday. There was a good reason for it. We were to head to a local supermarket to meet up with CMS206 (remember the name!) before convoying to Happendon services to meet up with the rest of the SVM.

Avengers (dis)assemble

Before we go any further, let me explain about the SVM (Scottish Volvo Massiv). They are the Scottish equivelent of the A-Team, but with Volvos- or the Marvel Avengers without superpowers. Basically they drive Volvos and get up to some mischief.

Once met up, we set off for Tebay, and the delights of super healthy Overnight Oats etc..

Super Healthy, honest

Lowering the price of the breakfasts at a Services near you

BMWs don’t need a cooland check at every stop;)

A moments quiet contemplation before the mania ahead

The convoy then doddered down the m6 and m56 to Chester Services, where another pit stop. The first tank of LPG in the 335i netted a respectable 22mpg, but Brutha_touring achived an astonishing 24.99mpg on the second tank! The 2002 Charisma decided that it should have a hissy fit and go into limp home mode, but it recovered quicky and performed without fault the rest of the weekend.

A Morgan, you don’t see many of them

From thereon in, it was a simple run down to Llangollen. We were camping at the Llangollen Motor Museum for the evening (Details here) and we can recommend them heartily!

Arriving on site, we surveyed the space and marvelled at the available facilities..

Flying the Flag

Lord of all he surveys

Despite appearances, the poor couple in this van had not come down for Shitefest.

It’s a bad day when the Vauxhall is the classy car

The intention was to set up camp, and get settled in for the evening- however, as per, the reality was somewhat different.

We siezed the opportunity to take a shot on the Llangollen Steam Railway (Details here )

Despite charging like a wounded Rhino we were well chuffed (pardon the pun), it offered a great chance to catch up with old faces, and meet some new- all in surroundings that Scotrail could only dream of delivering!

SVM Precision Parking team practicing

Viagra may not be as recent as you think..

Back at the ranch, we set to building our palaces, and getting geared up for the evening.Once constructed, we found ourselves casting about for something to entertain ourselves..

2 man tent?Are you sure?

What could we get upto?

Keys! but does it start and drive?

A handily placed Renault van provided the inspiration- we got a ubiquitous Volvo and set to- just as the Owner showed up. We asked permission and carried on

Much Renault, So Petrol, Very WOW

Chaaarge!

Jump leads onto the battery terminals and she pretty much fired straight up, and settled down to a steady idle once the leads were removed

The moment it starts

The reason for choosing the van was simple- it was fitted with a refrigeration unit, so provided the potential for chilling beer! That said, the cleanliness caused a revision of that plan.

After a brief run down to the Chippy for sustenance, we settled in for the night and marvelled at the wide and wonderful variety of cars that poured into the field.

The Alto making the Pride seem large

Superleggera Talbot Alpine

Ravishing Renault 16

Shexy Starion

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of Beer, fire and Vodka fuelled Go-Karts:)

Part 2 to follow soon!

Smirnoff Racing

March Fleet Update (AKA why bother with old cars?)

As we hurtle towards the end of the financial year, tis time to take stock of the fleet and give a summary of how things are shaping up for 2015…

Polo

Despite a recent decrease in price per barrel, the Heavy Oil section of the fleet is holding up well. Short return investment in welding and a rear number plate secured an annual MOT certificate, valid until Feb 2016. Medium term investments in servicing and brakes should ensure that the ongoing revenue cost of the asset is minimal

Clio

The French operation is suffering from the economic policies of the current left leaning government. Heavily unionised, the workers have been on strike since the start of February. Current demands include:

2x 195/50/15 tyres

Rear Brake Pads

Full service inc brake fluid change

EML reset

A decision on whether these requests are granted resides with the Minister of Finance (AKA the burd). As is normal with government, a timescale for decision is not expected imminently.

E30s

The German factories are in disarray due to the continual pressure caused by the Grexit threat. This has manifested itself in 3 distinct impacts upon their productivity.

The Munich site (320i touring) has suffered total pump failure in the petroleum delivery system, resulting in a failure to deliver effective power generation. This failure occurred at 5.15pm last Saturday, and caused a significant tailback on the m8 motorway. The Authorities attended, and the factory was inspected. Site is currently mothballed whilst the Board consider the appropriate approach to recommissioning.

The Nurburg site (328i 2dr), despite prodigious output, is suffering from poor distribution of power. The uprated differential has several key weaknesses that require addressing to maximise handling and delivery. Key experts have been recruited, and the device will be removed for repair shortly. This will require the complete cessation of operations pending the return of the part.

The Berlin site (335i) is in need of repair to the floor. Sections at the forward extremities are exhibiting serious structural failures that require remedial action prior to the granting of a “Fit to Operate” certificate from the Ministry.Additionally, Work to the retardation system was completed satisfactorily.

Local specialist engineers have been enlisted, and the repairs are booked for Monday afternoon. Signoff, and return to standard operation is due by Wednesday. Output will then return to normal, and the intention is to benchmark performance against the Nurburg site at an appropriate time.

XJ40s

Both British sites are operational, with some peripheral flaws in need of remediation.

The Jaguar suffers from an inability to start in Park- requiring the selection of Neutral to illicit startup. This also introduces a “Grraunch” sound when passing through Neutral on the gate. Application of faultfinding and a hammer should rectify, allowing for focus to shift to the upgrading and refurbishing required.

The Daimler is the best performing site- exhibiting faultless reliability, and peerless running costs. Repair/upgrading of the ventilation system will be required to allow forward progression and expansion. A root and branch assessment will be made to assess validity of running both British sites- versus the potential savings in merging.

Golf

The oldest asset remains mothballed currently. An assessment of the site is due at the end of next week- with the fore(wo)man being present. This should establish the most appropriate path of progress relating to the recomissioning. Several key components have been sourced, and are present for installation. Intention is to have the site fully operational by Summer 2015. However, there may be a requirement for roof repairs that could extend the project timeline significantly

535i

Tis Phuqed.

 

From a total of 9 sites,

5 are MOT’d

3 are fully operational

3 are in need of significant investment

 

Suppose that is the next few weekends sorted then. Thankfully most of the repair work is straightforward, but I’m still tempted by leasing a Leaf…(http://www.nissan-offers.co.uk/new-vehicles/leaf/sanka-nmgb-2014-q4-leaf-pcp-0-buyflex/294)